This is challenging. Trying to find the emotions, words, and actions to handle certain situations lately has been challenging. What has been plaguing my life with difficulty lately is my relationship with my best friend. She is the greatest, sweetest friend any girl could ever scale the earth to find and I am so beyond lucky to have her to fill such an important role in my life. However, lately, I’ve been feeling distant feelings from her. It could have absolutely nothing to do with me, or it could have everything to do with me. She is currently going through a serious break-up, she spent 5 years of her life with someone who ultimately just couldn’t come through in the end. After many late night talks and much turmoil, they decided to move out of their rented home and call it quits. This all took place about 3 or 4 months ago. Those last 3-4 months have no doubt been very hard on her, and coincidentally it’s all happening to her during the same time when Adam and I have been blossoming, growing, and falling completely head over heels for eachother. Watching Adam and I’s relationship grow has been such a beautiful journey, but that’s a different post entirely.
Bottom line, I know deep down she is happy for me, but I know that she is unhappy and it doesn’t seem she wishes to be surrounded by me and my in-love-glowing state. When we go to lunch and she says how are you? It's hard for me to want to tell her, well, Adam and I told eachother we love eachother for the first time Sunday and it made me so happy I could cry, etc etc. so instead I talk about work, or my Mom and that makes me feel more distant from her. I am in a ridicously happy place in my life and I want to share this with her! However, sharing those things would make me feel completly insensitive to her, so I don't. I try my best to not talk about the sweet things he does for me around her. I try to tone down our amounts of physical affection around her, but I sometimes can’t help it. I know she is hurting, but lots of times when I ask her if she wants to talk about it she just says she is ok. And here we come back to the beginning, it’s all so challenging! I know she doesn’t want to watch my love with Adam grow while her relationship is falling apart but that is what life has dealt both of us. My life has not been easy and it’s not like Adam just walked into my life. I put forth a lot of effort and made very difficult, but conscious decisions to put my life in a place where I could fall in love with someone like him. I don’t want to feel bad for being happy, but I want to be sympathetic to her too!? She is definitely a priority in my life, she has been a constant for me over the last 4 years and I love her indefinitely for that. It’s just so hard for me, I love Adam so much, and if things keep progressing the way that they have been, he may be the last guy I go through the progression of love with. If that does turn out to be the case (and even if it isn’t) I want to treasure all my moments with Adam, I don’t want to feel like I have to apologize for my happiness. How do I honor my good life choices and relish in my relationship with Adam without being insensitive to her?
Any thoughts on how these two monumental life moments can be integrated? Maybe someone has had something similar with pregnancy? What would you do if you got pregnant and your best friend had been trying for years? How do you deal with this??!?!?!!