We somehow decided on a cabin trip since it was around my birthday. I didn't want to go, he probably felt the same. We spent Friday night together, drove up Saturday afternoon and all seemed ok. He made a fantastic dinner that night and Sunday morning was pretty much when everything went awful. We hardly spoke to eachother nothing in particular I dont think, but still very awkward. On the deck he says, let's chat. His words were, we need to discuss what we're doing long term because I don't think this is working for me. On my birthday weekend, which I for some reason, decided to spend with him, its not working for him...ok.
I truly don't know where in my fantasy head I think that I can have a relationship with this person. Hes shown me time and time again how easily he angers, how he only cares about his side, and how truly selfish he can be. The last few times we've spent time together it hardly is even pleasurable. He seems to avoid me lounging on the couch all day watching sports while I meander around the house. If this is what marriage is, I can say, I don't care for this. I don't believe life should be wasted and unfortunately time spent with him is beginning to feel wasted. There's always a fight, always a chip on the shoulder, never a pleasant attitude. Never trying to understand, always seeking to snap.
We discussed the fact that I won't 'make up with his mother'. Which I won't even discuss, he just kept saying this isn't working and when I asked why it was so inconvenient for him he said do I really need to spell it out? Can't you put 2 and 2 together?!?! I'm literally just trying to understand him and he's loosing his temper with me. Because we lack the skills to have a basic conversation and seek to understand eachother it just gets heated. He was so upset I couldn't see things from his perspective. How hard this all is on him. Poor him. Not once in that conversation did he ask how this had been on me.
On the way home we chatted about more. He was upset I wouldn't go over there and get the pie she baked, which I think is just ridiculous. We haven't spoken in one whole year and all of a sudden she does something and I'm suppose to jump? I also find it ridiculous I have to pick it up. Hey I did something great for you, come get it??? Who does that. I put my foot down and said no and the fact that he can't respect that says alot about him. His mom is the one who keeps putting him in the middle. She didn't even tell me about the pie, she told him to tell me! Then he's mad at me he's in the middle, when I didnt even put him there. He sees this as me being mean and stubborn and if I don't want to do something I'm not going to do it. Well, I guess that's somewhat true cuz I'm not doing this. I'm not jumping thru hoops for someone who has treated me like absolute shit for the last year when they all of a sudden say so. And the fact that he wants me to sickens me.
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